All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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