i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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