No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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