i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
