I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
