Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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