Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
