Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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