hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
