I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
