oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
