im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
