Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
