fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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