margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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