I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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