What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
