I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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