no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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