I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
