need another drink. this is the easiest way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
