True but thats because hes a fetus.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
