Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she smelled like a LAN party
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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