If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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