garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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