I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
