i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
then he tried to convert me to islam
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
