Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
