I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
