So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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