Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
