i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
