Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
