Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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