i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
