I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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