the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
