We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
