I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
