You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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