I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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