i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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