I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I CAN MOONWALK!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.