idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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