Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.