Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.