I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Randomize
