Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize