If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
