Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
