Where did you get a picture of my penis
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
