Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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