just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
