My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
