Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
