Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
