how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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