brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
