you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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