I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's shark week go big or go home
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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