I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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