He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
