you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
love makes seman taste better
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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