last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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