The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Will exercising make me less horny?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
