walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
