i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
