he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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