I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
